Supporting and understanding the needs of all women in an intimate, familial or social relationship with a gender dysphoric person



The Debate:

'Married Heterosexual Cross-Dressing Husbands in a Monogamous Relationship'
'Married Husbands that have Gay Relationships while Dressed as a Woman'

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Advice@ for ? Women with Crossdressing Partners
A great site for help on this subject

Lesley Shares Hers Views

I live with a person who is a total blend of the characteristics that our culture calls masculine and feminine. I have always liked to think of myself as heterosexual (rather than straight which to me means boring), even preferring the company of men over women. I am also a feminist and a firm believer in equality of opportunity for all. Vicky and I share this belief and lots of other common interests; like food, wine and crying over romantic comedy movies.

We met when I was 16 (going on 17) and Chris was almost 18. Chris had a moustache and long hair. I learned many years later that he had grown the 'tash' as one of his many attempts to deny his transgender feelings. We lived 10 miles apart but had a lot of things in common. We were both, at the time, Sunday School teachers and met through our involvement in the Scout and Guide movement. We fell in love very quickly and were soon seeing each other several nights a week.

Although we were from similar social classes our families were very different. His were very formal, the sort that turned off the television and sat down for tea and polite conversation, whenever I came to visit. The first time Chris met my parents was three days after we had met, when I brought him and two of his friends home at midnight to sleep on the floor after a party. My Dad, who had just got in from a gig with his band, made us all cheese and onion sandwiches, whilst Mum rummaged round the house for blankets. This contrast in our parent's styles was to later on contribute to the rift that is now between Vicky and her family.

Within six months of our meeting, Chris had left home and was living in a flat in the house opposite to my families. He and his flat mate KT shared a tiny bed-sit for five years until we got married. I learned a lot about Chris before we were living together. Most of them were very good like his DIY skills and his creativity with sewing, colour and design. These skills were usually used to create custom car interiors; he now uses them to create costumes and scenery, as well as building and decorating our home. In these early days another thing that he liked was to try different things in bed often revolving around stockings and soft fabrics. I had not had much experience, but I had read in 'Cosmopolitan' that it is fun to try out different things in bed and that 'it would help me to "keep my man" - (this was the 70's). I also learned that he suffered with depression, sometimes sinking into deep dark suicidal moods lasting several days.

When we had been together for a while the subject of girl on girl action came up in a magazine quiz about sex. Chris seemed pleased when I said I would not mind trying it with another girl (I was just trying to sound hip). It was not until we had been married for a year or so that he told me that my answer to this question and my willingness to try out things in bed had led him to feel confident enough to share his 'tranny' feelings with me....

To read more you need to read ' He or She' by Vicky Lee - to buy this book Click Here


Alice Novic

Alice in Genderland tells the story of Dr. Richard Novic, Harvard-educated psychiatrist and crossdressers... Most of the time, he is a man at the office and a husband and father at home. But one evening a week, she is a woman about town, shopping, dining, dancing and involved with a man for over four years. And both wife and boyfriend know about each other. Although he now leads a richly expressive life, Dr. Novic suffered since childhood with a secret, a desire he was in no way equipped to handle, but when that eventually burst through his denial, a few months before his wedding date. Just once, he felt, while he still could, he had to know what it felt like to be a woman. Like Alice in Wonderland, his curiosity led him to fall headlong down a rabbit hole, through desperate straits, mind-opening surprises, heart-rendinge changes, and boundless love. By the time he was back on his feet, he was a different person, living a lifestyle he hadn't known existed. Anyone who has struggled to figure out who they are and how they want to live will see themselves in this powerful life story.

To read more you need to read ' Alice in Genderland' by Richard J Novik - to buy this book Click Here

Helen Boyd

The first book to explore the relationships of crossdressing men and their female partners. Known traditionally as transvestites, men like Helen Boyd's husband are starting to come out and win the respect of friends, family and society - even if their behaviour still baffles mental health professionals and the crossdressers themselves. Helen explains the "taxonomy" of the transgendered, the distinct societies within the transgendered community, the effects of the closer, sexuality, and the issues faced by the wives and girlfriends of crossdressing men. Helen's own experience is at the heart of this book, her story complemented and contradicted by interviews with crossdressers, drag queens, "tranny chasers", and other transgendered couples.

To read more you need to read ' My Husband Betty ' by Richard Helen Boyd - to buy this book Click Here