THE MAN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ............ IS A TRANNY
from WIVES, PARTNERS and GIRLFRIENDS
is 'My Man'?
He is still there, he has Just found a different way to
express his feelings. It may well be that one of the reasons
you love him is due to this softer, gentler side.
Unlikely - Transvestites are no more likely to be either
Gay or Bisexual than are non-transvestites.
am worried he might be Transsexual and will want a sex
change can he be tested and diagnosed?
This is a natural fear, he may be confused himself and
may be thinking that this route would legitimise his current
behaviour. However cross-dressing is not an automatic
route to becoming a transsexual. Most cross-dressers will
remain happy with their part time image and role/change.
However there can be no guarantees that transsexuality
can be excluded at any point in a TVs lifetime but it
is never the less the rarer option. Current thinking suggests
that Gender Dysphoria is not fixed at any one point therefore
the strength of feelings about ones gender identity can
be fluid. There is no diagnosis, which can confirm that
he will NEVER take up the option; the answer lies completely
with each individual TV. Sadly, he may not be sure of
his options until later in life. Most TS's are genetically
and chromosonally male so there is no scientific test
which can confirm transsexualism, in the way that, for
instance, a patient can be tested for diabetes. Most TS'
will say that it is a state of mind, which overcomes every
other consideration and cannot be ignored. Diagnosis will
then be in the hands of a specialist psychiatrist and
will involve 'gender counselling'. TV's who recognise
these feelings in themselves may want to seek an evaluation
at some time but only a small number will go on for full
gender reassignment. It is important not to push a TV
towards a diagnosis if he is not ready for it.'
Currently, no one is certain what the root cause is, although
it is believed to be developmental, much like left handedness.
You cannot 'make" someone a Transvestite, either in the
womb, or afterwards
didn't he tell me sooner?
Even as little boys, Transvestites are aware that others
may not approve of what they are doing, so they learn
to keep it secret. In the case of those they love, they
may believe that this is protecting you. It is a shock
to find out something about someone you thought you knew
well, but it is best not to let that initial shock push
you into any rash decisions.
common is it?
Numbers are difficult to estimate. Surveys are unlikely
to accurately reflect the true scale as men are unlikely
to answer truthfully about a subject that they are so
strongly programmed shun. Recent surveys estimate a figures
ranging from one in ten to one in thirty, although these
may include fetishists and drag artists and those that
just are interested but not active.
there a cure?
Transvestism is not a disease or an illness. Any problems
that arise are more often due to Societies attitude towards
it and the misunderstandings that stem from it.
going out 'dressed' - I am worried he will be harassed
or worse beaten up?
Let him know how worried you are so that he has a chance
to tell you what precautions he takes. Talk to him about
how any 'real girl' needs to be sensible about how to
dress and behave in public as they face these threats
daily. It is important to have a route in mind which avoids
no-go areas and use taxis whenever possible. For daylight
forays to the shops 'dressing down' is required to avoid
attracting unwanted attention. Trannies should avoid the
risk of causing a breach of the peace by using Ladies
toilets - so it's a good idea if avoid drinking more than
they need to. Unisex disability toilets are always the
safest option. Attacks on TVs are comparatively rare and
almost unheard of if he follows the rules. Cross-dressing
is not illegal so the TV has the law on his side.
husband wants us to be lesbian lovers and will only make
love when he is cross-dressed. I hate the idea, he says
I am being selfish. Who is right?
Your husband is sadly not taking your feelings into account.
His lesbian love fantasy is his not yours. He needs to
understand that he cannot force you into any situation,
which you cannot tolerate. Your husband is a man with
a man's body. However he may mean by lesbian love that
he wants to restrict sexual acts to those available to
two women. He may wish to take a more passive role. Sexual
relationships have no rules other than YOUR rules. Safe
careful experimentation can be surprisingly rewarding.
Who knows what any other couple gets up to - with or without
cross- dressing in their relationship.
sure that my husband must be gay. He insists that he isn't
but I'm not convinced. Am right to be worried?
Most cross-dressers are heterosexual (about 75%) The other
25% are made up of gay, bi-sexual or celibate men. However,
some cross-dressers may adopt effeminate behaviour when
dressed and may indeed accept male attention comfortably
when dressed. This however is more to do with their temporary
GENDER identity than their general sexuality. You are
certainly at far less risk to losing your man to a gay
affair than most women are to losing their man to a hetero-sexual
QUESTIONS FROM MOTHERS
feel so guilty It must be some thing I did as a mother
Where did I go wrong?
You didn't do any thing wrong. One thing we can guarantee
is that it is not yours (or anybody's) fault.
caught him once wearing his sister's clothes as a child
but thought that he would grow out of it. Why didn't he?
Cross-dressing is for life and does not go away. It is
nearly always established in childhood but many parents
are unaware of the behaviour because it is such a secretive
act. Most mothers will assume that cross-dressing in children
is the same as dressing up. Very young children experiment
with dressing up but this is not necessarily an indication
of cross- dressing. Dressing up usually occurs spontaneously
and openly and will involve other children as a group
game. comparatively few children are diagnosed as cross-dressers
always been so close, why didn't he tell me about it?
Children sense at a very young age that they are doing
something unusual which they believe will make their parents
angry. They have no role models so believe that they are
would like to support my son but my husband will not let
me and has threatened to reject my son if he continues
with the behaviour. I do not want to cause a family rift
but my loyalties are divided. How can I resolve the situation
to the satisfaction of both my husband and my son?
Many fathers find the subject very painful to confront
and prefer to avoid it if at all possible. Suggest that
he phone one of the help lines for an understanding chat.
If this is not the solution he is looking for it is often
better not to press the point. Wise mothers may then take
the discretionary approach.
suppose this means that he can never marry and have a
There is absolutely no reason for him not to marry, many
cross-dressers are heterosexual married men with children.
He will probably find someone who will like him for himself,
who he can trust and divulge his 'secret' to. The most
successful relationships stem from honesty from the beginning
so that girlfriends have an opportunity to explore cross-dressing
with him before making a serious commitment.
may be a lady who has been handed this book by your male
friend or partner. He may have 'come out' to you. This
book tries hard to explain how trannies feel - but how
do YOU feel?
You may be a tranny that feels that it is time to be honest
about your cross-dressing with the women around you. But
do you know what goes through their mind as you tell them
and during the days that follow?
The Beaumont Society have a help line run for women by
women all of whom have personal experience of cross-dressing,
they are The Women of the Beaumont Society - WOBS.
They share here through the Tranny Guide some of the most
frequently asked questions from wives, girlfriends and
mothers together with the answers they give.
you are a lady with something else you wish to ask or
if you just want to chat with another woman call:
WOBS Women of the Beaumont Society (WOBS)
Address: BM WOBS, London WC1N3XX
Help lines: 01223-441246, 01389-380389, 01684-578281-QUICK